


Patriotic Lies

by DireRose



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: 4th of July, Birthdays, If You Squint - Freeform, M/M, Oneshot, Other, Steve’s birthday is a lie, also titled ‘that time Steve tackled Bucky through a glass door’, slight Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, tony is a shithead, tony stark also known as ‘the bitch ass historian’
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-05
Updated: 2018-07-05
Packaged: 2019-06-05 13:07:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15171395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DireRose/pseuds/DireRose
Summary: Steve never lies. He hates liars as much as he hates bullies. But he is one, and no one seems to know about his little white lie until Bucky tries to tell him happy birthday.Also called “That Time Steve Tackled Bucky Through A Glass Door.”





	Patriotic Lies

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [爱国谎言](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15362280) by [joankindom](https://archiveofourown.org/users/joankindom/pseuds/joankindom)



> Based on this tumblr post: http://little-world-of-vanna.tumblr.com/post/175553844489/melodramatic-fratboi

Steve Rogers spent his entire life trying to keep from lying. If there was one thing he hated more than a bully, it was a liar. He couldn’t stand the embarrassment, or the shame, of being caught lying, so as a kid he quickly just... abstained from it. Lie? Steve Rogers? After a hundred years, those two words didn’t even fit in the same sentence unless that sentence was “Steve Rogers would never lie.” 

But, like everyone else, Steve Rogers was far from perfect. He was capable of being a horrible person if it came down to it. Of course, he never would. But he had lied before.

It was during the war in the 40’s. America’s “Golden Boy” was traveling the world, singing and dancing and entertaining troops. He was still getting used to his new body, and of course, he lost his balance in the middle of his first overseas performance. That day, not only did THE Captain America fall off a stage, he - in the process - tripped four of the ten dancers. So he was obviously flustered to begin with, and it didn’t help that the press was at that specific performance.

Afterward, after they had to restart the set completely, Steve was faced with reporters surrounding him and shouting questions left and right. What was his full name? Where was he from? What was his favorite food? His favorite color? Did he have any family in the states? When was his birthday? 

More specifically, the last question was “Captain America! Over here! Captain America, when is your birthday?” But Steve, poor Steve, heard the man wrong. He heard “America” and “birthday” in the same sentence, and blurted out the first thing that popped into his head. 

“July 4th!”

The press cheered. Independence Day, the Independence Day, was also Captain America’s birthday! Take that for patriotism. The press ran with it and, because it seemed to make such a great story that Golden Boy America shared the same birthday with THE USA, not a single one questioned it. No one said “Hey, this looks a bit odd.” But why would they? It was amazing!

Steve on the other hand realized what he had said, and his heart sank. That wasn’t his birthday. His actual birthday was in December, and July was definitely not December. He had just lied to the press, who were going to print that lie in papers world-wide, which were going to be read by hundreds of thousands of people. In extension, Steve Rogers lied to the entire world. 

Amazing what crazy things can happen when you’re flustered, huh?

Fast forward, the year is 2018. 

Steve never questioned it, never corrected a single reporter, never ever corrected a child on the street if they told him happy birthday. Instead he nodded, thanked them, and high-tailed it in the opposite direction to avoid what would surely be a horribly embarrassing and VERY public conversation about why honesty is important. Of course, this happened so much that he’d almost forgotten when his actual birthday is.

But when he was having breakfast with the team on a cold December morning, and Bucky walked in with a birthday card in one hand and a cupcake in the other, Steve felt the color completely drain from his face. 

“What’s that for, Bucky?” Natasha raised an eyebrow and gestured to the cupcake in his hand.

Before Bucky could reply, though, Steve shot out of his chair and tackled his friend through the nearest door - which thankfully had a balcony for the two to land on. 

“What the fuck, Steve!? I went through all of this to wish your punk ass a happy 100th birthday, and you repay me by tackling me through an actual window!?”

“They don’t know!” Steve hush-whispered, quickly covering Bucky’s mouth with his hand to keep him from talking. “I messed up, Buck, real bad, and now the entire world thinks my birthday is July 4th. I can’t- They’ll never let me live this down, Buck. The media won’t, and the team definitely won’t. Especially Tony. Please.”

Bucky blinked and threw Steve off of him. “You should have told me before, punk, so I didn’t end up with icing everywhere. Seriously? Look at this mess.” He picked up the crumbling remains of the cupcake and smashed them into Steve’s face. 

All the while, the rest of the team sat at the table watching in confusion with eyebrows raised.

Tony walked in, ever fashionably late to breakfast as usual, and deadpanned as he saw the broken balcony door. “Really, Capsicle?”

“There... there was a spider hanging from the ceiling beside Buck... he’s terrified of them, so-“ 

Bucky elbowed him in the gut as if to say ‘are-you-fucking-kidding-me-rogers’ and shook his head. “Don’t lie, Punk. We had a bet that I wouldn’t spend the night baking. Steve said he couldn’t see me doing that, so I decided to prove him wrong. If he got a cupcake on the table in front of him this morning, then I got fifty bucks. But apparently he decided he didn’t want to pay up after I lost twelve hours of sleep trying to make a cupcake at least slightly edible.”

Ignoring the team’s bewildered expressions, Steve pushed past Bucky and made a bee-line to clean cupcake off his face.

After Bucky saved the day, Steve didn’t hear anything about his birthday until - well - the 4th of July. He woke up, got ready, and inched toward the common area for breakfast.

When he got there, the entire team had planned birthday festivities for him. With a red face, they made Steve blow out 100 trick candles - curtesy of Stark, of course - and made him open presents. It was nice, honestly. A bit... too nice.

Clint and Nat managed to get him some more art supplies, Bruce upgraded his suit, Wanda got him a watch, Bucky gave him a smile and a knife (funnily enough, it was the knife Buck had attacked him with during the fall of SHIELD), etc. But nothing from Stark. 

Until the last box.

Inside was another rectangular box, wrapped in Captain America wrapping paper. Under that was a layer of coins, each one taped to another layer of wrapping paper. Then there was another box, and inside that was another wrapped box that was covered in rope, then a layer of streamers, then a layer of duck tape, then another box, then a plastic bag.

Steve rolled his eyes, sent a pointed glare in Tony’s direction, and then, FINALLY got through the last layer. Sitting inside a rectangular box was a small, red, white, and blue folder. 

Tony hovered over his shoulder, practically dancing in excitement. “Open it, Cap. Hurry! Open it, open it, open it, open it!”

With a sigh, Steve opened the folder. 

And saw his birth certificate. 

Steve cussed. “How the fu-“ 

“Ah, ah, ah. Language. December 12th, 1920, Capsicle.”

Natasha raised an eye. “You aren’t...”

“I KNEW IT.” Clint cheered. “I KNEW YOU COULDN’T HAVE BEEN BORN ON THE FOURTH OF JULY.”

Bucky laughed and snatched the certificate out of Steve’s hands. “I feel like this is what you get for tackling me through a door.”

“Jesus, Tony. How did you- Why did you-“

Tony threw his head back and laughed. “Did you really think that after you broke my balcony door that I wouldn’t think something was up? And honestly, Barnes, a bet about baking? We all know you could bake until you’re blue in the face. I do have an artificial intelligence system practically running this place, right?”

“I think we’ve earned an explanation, Cap.” Bruce quipped. 

“In the forties. It was my first time dealing with press, I misunderstood a question. I was anxious. I thought the guy asked when America’s birthday was... so... I said July 4th. It didn’t process until afterward what I had said...”

“Honestly,” Natasha shook her head, “that sounds exactly like something you’d do.”

“Please don’t let this out to the public.” Steve begged, his cheeks glowing bright red, “I’ll never hear the end of it.”

“We’ll think about it. But you’ll be on coffee duty for a week.” Bucky grinned and high-fived Tony. “AND you have to lead team meetings for a month. I’m getting tired of standing up there and talking to brick walls.” 

Steve groaned, but nodded nonetheless. “Fine. Deal.”

“Come on, let’s go eat this cake. Can’t let it go to waste, birthday boy.”


End file.
